This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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