I wanna bring you to show and tell
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
