So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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