i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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