I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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