why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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