please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize