She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
