Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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