I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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