And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
