Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize