Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
