He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
