Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
