This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
