first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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