Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
