I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
