just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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