The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
