the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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