she kept yelling 'call me bella'
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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