And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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