I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
