I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
