For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize