you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You smell like stripper and shame
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dear god my vagina.
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