I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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