I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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