That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
