just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
