I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize