he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
