i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize