Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
