C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
