this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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