In the future we'll all be gay
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
