Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
