If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
