...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
