She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize