my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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