I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
