just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
