Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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