Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
