You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
