Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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