you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I AM VODKA MAN
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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