it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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