Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Randomize
