His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
