is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
