One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
