we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
